In Darwin last year I attended the Level 1 Training Conference of the Gottman Institute. This Institute was founded by American psychologists John and Julie Gottman in 1996.  

I really like their system of Emotional Focused Therapy concentrating on the four indicators of conflict in a relationship. They refer to these indicators as the ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ – Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. Let’s face it every relationship has conflict at some stage, it’s how we deal with the conflict that is important in maintaining relationships. Therefore, in healthy relationships the usage of the horsemen is less, and more effort is made to repair them as they occur.

Stay tuned to read my future blogs explaining each of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and what the Gottmans’ refer to as the best antidote, or way of dealing with each specific form of conflict.

(Adapted from the works of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Gottman Institute)